Below is a rough transcript of the testimony shared at Kay Branch’s Celebration of Life. Over 120 people gathered on July 27th, 2016 at the Alaska Native Tribal Health Consortium in Anchorage, Alaska to share remembrances of Kay and the ways she touched our lives. For over 2 hours, those gathered shared stories and reflections, and you can read them below.

July 27, 2016

Taylor B: We are filled with great sorrow that someone so young was taken so early. As we work to accept that tragedy, we are here to rejoice in her life in the manner of Friends, with stories and even humor. (Quaker worship was then explained.)

 

Taylor B: Kay Branch showed extraordinary courage in her last days, and even though we all know the day would come, the loss is still scorching. This is understood in light of the brilliant shining love between Bill and Kay that we all witnessed.

 

Herman W: In October of 1954 my wife, myself, and my other daughter Sue were blessed with the birth of Kay. The name was my idea, and it came from the comic strip called Carey Great, with a character named Kay Sharp. I liked Kay, my wife Helen loved the name Phyllis, and Sue didn’t have a say. So it was Phyllis Kay. I have many wonderful memories of Kay as a child and young woman, and I plan to write them in a book. Earlier this year, Sue, Kay and Bill went to conference, and then came to our home in Florida to gain a second opinion of Kay’s cancer at the Moffitt Cancer Center in Tampa. These were grueling days for Kay sometimes from 8am to 6pm. But I also have a wonderful memory of us all together at the April 17 Beethoven concert in Lakeland. As the clinical trial didn’t work out at Moffitt, Kay then came to us and said, “If I am to die, I want to go home and die there.” The reason, I understand now, is because of all of you. You’ve supported her all along and accepted us so openly. For that I am eternally grateful.

 

Doug C: We Quakers (also called Friends) believe there is “that of God in all of us.” We share this in a loving and spiritual way, and see it a bit differently than other religions. I first met Kay in Anchorage Monthly Meeting (Quakers), and I could see Kay’s inner Light as a fellow Friend and also saw it in her work. What she brought to us was that inner Light and with much cheerfulness too.

 

Christine D: I have so many wonderful stories about Kay that I could tell. It is difficult to decide which one. I first met Kay in Dillingham and then we both eventually moved to work at the Alaska Native Tribal Health Consortium (ANTHC). We worked as colleagues there. And I remember what she eventually came to in Dillingham, “I have to move to Anchorage to have any chance of meeting a good man.” And boy, she certainly did!

 

Older man (name unknown): I had the privilege of working with Kay for 8 years. It was obvious that Kay had a love for the job and for our elders. It is a privilege to look here at this wonderful picture of Kay, and she’s looking right back at me. As an elder, she would work with you anytime, any day. It was always a privilege to talk to her. I know that despite her death, she’s still here, still powerful, still trying to help the people she’s been helping for years.

 

Jan B: Kay told us recently, joyfully, a story about growing up in Florida. Her dad Herman, was tech savy, he sold cars and had an amphibious car that traveled on roads and then could drive right out onto a lake. He would drive his whole family to the park and with great joy, would drive right into the lake, as people all around panicked. This caused a considerable ruckus each time, as you might imagine, and it finally got so bad that the Chief of Police had to call Herman and please ask him to warn the police when he was going to do it again. The following day I was at Quaker worship and thought about Kay and this hardest time she was facing at the end. I thought about her joy and her life while knowing the path ahead would be bad. How can I bear this, I thought? And then I had a strong sense of Kay in that car. She’s all right; we are on the shore panicking. I asked her about her path that was coming, and asked her what she was learning. She said, “All is well, I don’t want to die, but I have a glimpse that all will be well in my family and community.”

 

Cancer Support Group colleague (unknown name): I got to know Kay early in her cancer journey. Even when Kay was very sick with chemo, she would still be with the group, with humor and wisdom. She was always a positive addition. I know that her love and Light is still out there, and its helping others. She will be missed.

 

Christie W: I knew Kay in Dillingham. We were both in the Community Chorus. There were about 5 of us, and of all things we picked a show to perform called “Broadway in Dillingham.” Of course the whole town came as people do in rural Alaska. Kay seemed such a shy person to me, but to my astonishment, she picked the very difficult song “I have a dream.” There was little Kay in front of that crowd, singing beautifully, with strength and courage. It was an amazing solo!

 

A friend of Kay’s at University of Alaska-Anchorage (UAA): I met Kay at UAA and we hung out together. Lorraine hung out with us too. And independent of our travels, Kay kept popping up, and we both ended working in Dillingham. So the three of us would get together. You could never be out of sorts around Kay. Her smile would always touch your heart, and change you for the better. The important thing now is, Kay will ALWAYS be in our memories and in our hearts.

 

Ann F: When I first met Kay, it was like I knew her forever. She had such a smile and such a personality that would always bring us, not her, to the front. She made us feel that we were the greatest group! Just to look at her you couldn’t help but feel good. And I want you to know that I talked to Paul Sherry, a former CEO of ANTHC. He said that he had worked with Kay a long time, and that she was a very loving person. He wanted to send his condolences to the family.

 

Rita B: I’m going to sing a Native song in Yupik because of the way Kay honored our Native people. (And after singing:), the song means “Later on we’ll see you on the other side.”

 

Eleanor: I also met Kay as an undergrad at UAA. She was almost ready to graduate in the anthropology program that I was in. Kay always reached out, wanting to get together for coffee or tea, to stay connected with us. She was a great mentor. After she got her graduate degree in Florida, Kay was back in town, and insisted on getting us all together. And then she went on to work in Dillingham, but she would always still let us know when she was coming back and each time she wanted to get together. She said the people there absolutely loved her, because they had never seen someone there that was shorter than they were! She was happy about that! One day Kay called me to say she wouldn’t be able to come into town after all, and couldn’t get together with us. She said the elders needed her because they had 80 King Salmon. She said, “I can’t leave them. I need to help.” I was trying to think of a way I could get there to help too. Kay was very loving like that, always thinking about others. Her first concern was always other people. I’ll always remember that.

 

Ron, Husband of Eleanor: I’m Eleanor’s other half. Kay came into my office as Purchasing Director at ANTHC and said she had heard of me, and then looked at my name plate and saw my last name was the same as her friend Eleanor. She asked, “Are you related to Eleanor?” I said yes, and then she just smiled. Just this year at Fur Rondy, we saw Kay again. She always had an infectious smile, was always sincerely interested in what you had done not what she had done, unlike many people. Then she said, “I have cancer and they can’t cure it.” We started to make the traditional comments of sadness and condolences, when she said, “Stop. Don’t be sorry! I’ve had a very full, good life.”

We just love Kay!

 

Sue W (Kay’s sister): Kay is the most wonderful sister and that didn’t change as she got older and completed school and stuff. I want you to know, she loved Native elders. You fulfilled her life.

 

Teresa N: I met Kay in 1985. For 36 years she has been my best friend. She was my sister from a different mama. At DHL, where we both worked, she was an inspiration to me. I was a secretary and she was customer service. Then she went into sales. She was so brave! She got what I call, her “Baby IBM suit,” because she was so tiny. Then I saw her go to college. That inspired me, I thought I’ll go too. She can’t have a stupid friend! She was always right there for you. She’d call all these years she was away, while going to school to get her master’s degree. Then she said, “I’m going to Dillingham.” I said Dillingham? What for? She said to use my degree. She was always working out to be healthy and inspiring me to work out too, like water aerobics. “You’re body is your temple,” she would say. She did everything 110%, for instance knitting, she said “I just took it up!” Then I started getting knitting gifts for Christmas. They were beautiful! Sweaters, socks, it didn’t matter, she could do it all. She had lots of talent. Cooking, sewing, knitting she didn’t work at being so good. It made me mad, all that talent! I wished I could have one-fourth it. I love her! She’s never going to leave us!

 

Kay’s friend (unknown name): I knew her before she left Alaska to Florida and then connected again when she came back. I told her I was going to visit Florida, and she talked about inner tubing the underground streams and all the bubbles that came to the surface. Her eyes were all lit up about that! I was terrified. I followed her life from a distance. I have this vision of her floating down those streams with all those bubbles. She did all these things! And Kay was bubbly too! So now we can always think of Kay in all the bubbly water we’ll see.

 

Delisa C: I worked in the prevention field. I never had an opportunity to work directly with Kay, but I worked with Bill at the Trust at about the time Kay and Bill got married. I got to know the family side. I saw how happy she’d made Bill. At public health conferences we got to know each other, and we found we were both wives and stepmoms. She certainly made a difference in the family she created with Bill and Laura, his daughter. Now I’m watching Laura grow into the profession of prevention too!

 

Charlie S: Kay was a love story in general. I’ll explain that soon. By the way, I was a beneficiary of one of Kay’s fine scarves she knitted. We first met in the work setting of developing an Assisted Living Home in Galena. One day in Galena, she casually mentioned a name: Bill Herman. “Say again!?” I said. I told her he and I used to climb mountains together. I thought, wow, Kay’s this really cool woman with a vibrant personality, and then she said the name Bill Herman! So I found out she was dating my good friend Bill! On one work trip, I took her to the fiddle dance in Galena, where the youngsters dance first then the adults. Kay was shy at first, so I thought I’d fix her up with the First Chief. He danced with her and after that the other men hardly let her sit down! It was an honor and privilege later, to go to Bill and Kay’s wedding. I saw them looking into each other’s eyes. They looked deeply. My friend Bill can be sorrowful at times. But I could see the love she beamed across, and knew it was a good match. And the home they created together was always welcoming, no one was a stranger. It was a loving, inclusive relationship. I’m so glad my friend Bill could spend this quality time with this wonderful person.

 

Rita B: I worked with Kay at ANTHC. I was lucky to have Kay sharing her “cubby hole” with me. Kathy Graves was our boss. When we were visiting, often we got too loud! Kathy would come over and say, “lower please” to help us quiet down. I was very lucky to know Kay. She was like sunshine when she smiled- like rays of sunshine. When she passed away she went right straight to heaven and into the sunlight on the highest mountain!

56:15

Deborah E: I had the privilege and honor to work with Kay on elder care services for Alaska native people a few years ago. Here’s a little story – Kay coordinated a meeting with the Alaska Native long-term care directors. We wanted to share the workload as much as possible among them. We met via teleconference. Then she wanted someone to volunteer for a task, but no one said a word. We waited and waited. And people started to get a little bit fidgety. Then after a while, Kay said “You know, I’m a Quaker. (This comment caused a roar of laughter at the memorial!) I can sit comfortably in silence for a very long time. So we’re going to sit here until one of you feels moved to volunteer.” And we waited a bit more, and finally someone did volunteer. It was such a joy to work with Kay and to have known her. I selfishly just can’t believe I’ll never see that smile again. I can’t think of Kay without that smile, she will always be in my mind that way, and in my heart. I’m so grateful she’s not suffering anymore. She was so full of life, of light and of love and I know she’s living and dancing in the light and that love right now. And I feel very blessed to have had the opportunity to know her.

59.00

Amanda L: I came to Alaska about 10 years ago and a month later, I met Kay. I worked with Kay and Susan in the Senior Services Division for a couple of years, and it seemed it was definitely fate that I work with her. Later, I felt so blessed to get hired into the job Kay had had. She mentored me very well. I can’t think of any big decision or change in something in the last 10 years, when I didn’t turn to Kay to seek help to guide me through. As a professional and as a young woman, I was so thankful for Kay’s help. I really will miss her.

But the funniest time I had with Kay, happened at our cabin. I can hear her laughter still; I can hear it over and over again. My son called Bill, “Beeel.” And he kind of liked Kay, but he really only liked Kay to get through to Bill. Kay and Bill came to the cabin and they brought games. I remember Kay lying on the floor with a plastic bumblebee hanging off her head! And they attached a fake worm or something to the bee. I just have this vision of laughter, and Kay and Bill with bumblebees on their heads, and my kids just adoring them. Kay will always be in my life-long memories.

And talk about her perfection in all she did! She knitted baby quilts for my each of my two kids. She knitted one in Florida while visiting with father and sister Sue. Kay told me she was busy chit-chatting with Sue and lost track, so she had to take it all apart and start again.

1:01:25

Gary F: I worked with Kay many years, first at Eastern Aleutian Tribes and now ANTHC, for a total of 9 years. Kay’s legacy was a passion for elders and elder care. She was the “go to” person for legislation and knowing the politics of legislative bills and the best approach for advocacy. Of course, Alaska Natives value and respect our elders, but Kay was so good regarding the political landscape and how to give good advice for elders. Yes, Kay was a master at that. She smiled and made her way, but she was a political dynamo in making change. The passion she shared with all our tribal health entities was great, and we are better at elder care now because of Kay. Her legacy and passion will keep inspiring others and continue to live on through all our lives as we continue our efforts to improve. We all leave our impact, but Kay left a legacy that will always live on. My heart goes out to her family and I celebrate her life.

1:03:54

Patti H: I first met Kay when she started dating Bill. It was wonderful to see their love grow. Early on, I was so impressed with the relationship they developed. They were laughing and laughing together, all the time. It was so special to see the joy she brought to him. Their spirits moved together into our Friends community – and she seamlessly moved right into it. She once helped a Friend from Fairbanks who was in a home because of brain cancer and her disabilities. She also helped for years, as treasurer of our Anchorage Meeting. And I can’t think of Kay without her joyous smile. It was such a privilege to be close to the relationship Bill and Kay had.

 

Neva R: Kay would always call me by my name – speaking it as a term of endearment. There was always love and happiness inside, by just the way she spoke.

1:07:48

Diana W: I knew Kay just the last few years of her life, while I was the State Long Term Care Ombudsman. We went to Bethel together on a work related trip. When we travelled, she was the long and short of it! She carried a darling little stool in the airplane that Bill gave her– it helped support her short legs and was just too cute for words. There was a Nursing facility opening ceremony in Bethel, with a lot of important people there, but once Kay saw the elders she just lit up like Christmas morning! Fussing, chatting and laughing with them. She had a huge laugh, and to think it came from such a tiny person. I realized she doesn’t have a job, she has a vocation, a calling. I was so impressed with the integrity with which she did her work! She had her details straight, and yet she was so humble about it. She was fully alive, somebody you couldn’t resist, because you just didn’t want to let her down. She was the real deal. May she rest in peace and may perpetual light shine upon her!

1:09:31

Jeff J: Well I also met Kay through my work at the Mental Heath Trust Authority with that man she met in Anchorage, Bill Herman. We encourage collaboration at the Trust with our colleagues, but it became apparent, that Bill was taking this to a whole new level. Bill wasn’t curmudgeonly, but once Kay came into the picture, things were much more lighthearted around Bill’s office. It was so gratifying to see the joy she brought to him and to the rest of us. And I can’t complain too much about Bill’s “collaboration” with Kay, because Bill later introduced me to a work colleague that I would marry. I know a good thing when I see it! Kay was a force to be reckoned with too, she could be fierce, and we had a few dynamic and strong conversations, but I soon learned resistance was futile.

Kay not only worked at the systems level, but she was also personalized it one elder at a time. Even though she will live in our hearts and minds forever, the work that she did, the systems and the programs she set up, will continue to care for elders for many, many years in the future.

1:12:00

David L: I wasn’t going to speak, but unfortunately this is the 3rd time this month I’m at a memorial for someone who died of cancer. I’ve known Bill for 25 years, with his pre-Kay personality and post-Kay personality. And after many negotiations with Bill over the years, I definitely prefer the latter! The other way I know Kay, is when I ran into Bill and Kay at Costco and it came out Kay had cancer. She shared her experiences with cancer to my family. She had a sense of calm, not resignation; of what they were going through as a couple and as individuals. It gave me great pause, and it gave me great confidence that they would work their way through this. Godspeed Kay.

1:14:06

Roald H: My name is Roald and I’ve worked with Kay for the last few years at ANTHC. There are 5 things I know about Kay:

1. Representing ANTHC, we were invited out to the APIA elders summit at Dutch Harbor. I didn’t know Kay very well and never thought she had ever worked with elders there, but it seemed she knew everyone there. She knew all the elders by name and they gave her big hugs. I believe the measure of someone is the impact they have on others. And it was clear to me that Kay, even though I had only known her by name before then, had the respect of the elders.
2. Second thing I know about Kay is her dedication to the Elders Council at ANTHC. She welcomed elders and kept them on track, but the direction of the committee was decided by them. She wasn’t driving their agenda, but carrying out their agenda. She was taking care of the elders.
3. Third thing I know about Kay is her passion for building a skilled nursing facility at the consortium. She worked tirelessly on it. We got it nearly across the finish line several times, and it is yet to be built. But because of her passion, it will be built. We’ve got the land and one day it will be built.
4. Fourth thing I know about Kay is that she went out to assisted living facilities across Anchorage and she made sure all of our elders had traditional foods. On top of everything else she was doing, she recognized that culture is as important as care, in fact culture IS care. She learned that from working with our people. And she was able to translate that into a project. Now there were politics around the whole effort, but she was just consistent and caring, and it happened. It became a model for other programs. Not just in Anchorage in Seward and other places in the lower 48 too. She was making it happen.
5. Fifth thing I know about Kay is that her work isn’t over here and it will continue. Her caring, her compassion, and most importantly her determination lives on in many of us. It’s because of her presence with us that we will remember her work, and we’ll carry it out. All of you, thank you for letting me speak. And to the family, we lift you up. We raise you up in this time. We will miss Kay.

1:17:55

Elder Council member (unknown name): You know I met Kay at the elder’s lunch program. She helped us to get better hospital care from our directors and nurses; to get better care from all sections of our hospital and our clinic. She was very dedicated and we knew how much she really wanted it to work, and IT DID! Our programs are known all over, and even down below. And we thank her, because she was so dedicated to everything she did and you could look at her and you could see that the Lord gave her the ability to do all this, and with such a tiny person! She’s going to be missed! But we all had the glory of knowing her – whether a lifetime, and long time, or a short time. She will be missed and loved forever. The lord gave her to us, you know, and I’ll never forget her and all she did for our people and all the dedication she gave us.    Thank you.

1:20:16

Adrienne P (Kay’s stepdaughter’s sister): I’m not into public speaking, but I loved Kay and I want to talk. I loved her. She always made me feel welcome. If you don’t know, I’m Bill Herman’s stepdaughter, he became my stepdad when I was seven. I’ve never met a person who made EVERYONE feel as welcome as Kay did. I’ve never seen anything like that before, and I may never see anything like that again. And I just want to say that it’s true about Bill being different after Kay. She changed you Bill, she changed our relationship. And Laura, honestly, Kay’s changed our relationship too. So thank you for bringing her into my life. Thank you Herman for bringing her into all our lives.

1:21:40

Sarah K: I have a song that I want to share about Kay. “Give yourself to love, if love is what you’re after.” (She sings some verses.)

1:23:40

Mellisa H: I want to thank Bill, Laura, and Herman for allowing me to participate in planning this remembrance of Kay. I worked with her at the Consortium. One of our elders from the elders committee lives in Kodiak. I came to work on Monday and found out about Kay’s passing and I wasn’t going to stay at work. But then I said, oh my God, I’ve got to call my elders committee and let them know, even though it’s fishing time. I need to call as many as I can. I’m honored to now have the position that Kay held. Norman Pestrikoff said it was one of Kay’s goals to work herself out of a job. She believed in working with all our Alaska partners to better work for our Alaskan Native or American Indian elders. She had no reservations about putting an Alaska Native into her position, so she could supposedly retire. Her retirement party was on a Wednesday as well as this celebration. She thought we weren’t going to hold anything for her. So it was a big surprise. I told her we had a finance meeting in one of the conference rooms and as we came down the elevator we were with our operations director. She asked, “Why do we have to go to a big conference room for a budget meeting?” So we had a big surprise party for her.

Another elder, Mary Schaeffer from Kotzebue, called me earlier today, to let me know that she can’t be here for Kay’s memorial, and that her husband is battling his own health issues. Many of you may know John Schaeffer. So Mary wanted to convey her condolences to Kay’s family and thank them for bringing Kay into their lives. She helped elders around the state, but she also helped Mary bring her husband back to Kotzebue area. There are a whole lot of other stories but I just can’t think of them right now. Like Roald said, the elders guide me, I don’t guide them. They give me a task list of what to do and what is approved and not approved. With Kay here we were worker bees— until it was time to go fishing. So speaking of fish, I told Elizabeth I got these marks on my hand. It’s about fish head soup, I wasn’t very successful in catching a lot of fish, so I called 10^th and M Seafoods and got fresh fish heads. I got these scabs from the teeth of the fish. I made fish head soup in her honor. One of her stories she shared with me was about making this soup. It was kind of odd for me to hear it from this little, short, pardon the expression, white woman talking about making fish head soup for Alaska Native elders. I looked at her like “are you sure you know what you just said?” Her story was about when she first stated giving fish head soup to elders in a couple facilities in Anchorage to provide a traditional Alaska Native foods luncheon. She said she was going to make these elders so happy. She came in, so pleased she had her crock pot of salmon chowder. So if many of you don’t know, you’ll know now, many of us are lactose intolerant and of course you have milk in your chowders. You have different seasonings too, basil, cilantro, those kind of things. But who in rural Alaska buys those things? So she came in with the chowder, elders tasted it, but they said next time here’s what not to do. So it transitioned from thick, milky chowder to true fish head soup. It is one of the delicacies, and Elizabeth and I now serve it to the elders. This is all Kay. She started contacting Seward and others and said this is what we’re going to do. Kay said we want to bring it to your organization. She got a lot of guidance from Margaret, who is in the picture back there, to do it the native way. Some day, I’ll show Bill how to eat fish heads. I want to thank Kay’s family for sharing Kay with me, I appreciated her both personally and professionally.

Just to let you know she had a lot of impact not just here in Alaska. I’ve got a lot of follow up work to do, with our counterparts in the lower 48, serving American Indian elders down there too. It’s all because of the path Kay had made.        So thank you.

1:33:00

Laura H: My name is Laura, I’m Kay’s stepdaughter and as Adrienne alluded to there was a lot of romantic troubles in Dad’s life. The second one was my mother. I remember when Dad sat us down and told us that my mom and Dad were getting divorced. And Adrienne, though she doesn’t look it, is 8 years older than me. We were sitting there hearing this wasn’t going to keep going, that this wasn’t what our family was going to keep looking like. I remember how sad Dad was about the family changing, but how it was going to impact us kids. And it was one of the best decisions he ever made in my life. It was such a huge impact because I thought for a long time that what my Mom and Dad shared was what love looked like and it wasn’t very pretty. But when Kay came into our lives, I got to see what true love really looks like. I knew it was something dad could not give alone. And it’s because of how warm, caring and loving Kay, that they were able to share that with me, to the family, and really all of us. I think we’ve all seen the beauty of the love they had together and the beauty they shared. I think the hardest thing for me is realizing that Kay won’t be here for all of the milestones coming up in my life. She won’t see me get married; she won’t see my children. I love seeing all the kids here, because they would be laughing and giggling in Quaker worship and Kay just loved it! She’d pop right up and take care of the kids for a while. I will be forever grateful to Kay for sharing with me, for showing me what it means. It wasn’t easy for us. And there was a lot of communication and therapybut that it is all a part of a loving relationship, and such a gift to us all.

 

Neva and Sarah lead the group in singing other verses of “Give yourself to love.”

1:47:00

Jim L: I was a newly minted coordinator for UAA Alaska Native Heritage Center and the director asked me to work with ANTHC and elders committee. Kay was gracious enough to give us direction and guidance. On our website is 6 years of studies and reports all because of the elders and Kay helping with that process. During that time I was looking at a different perspective because of Kay. She said we’re all elders-in-training. So I’m an elder-in-training. All of us are elders-in-training. All because of Kay and the elders. Over time because my wife Susan worked closely with Bill at the Trust, we became close to Bill and Kay. Again, it was Kay breaking through, and us doing things as friends with Bill and Kay. That included be involved in their getting married. I really enjoyed time working with ANTHC, ADRC and Kay.

1:43:29

Agatha E: I didn’t know Kay well, but I felt inspired to speak because my grandfather got to go into the Galena elder facility, and it’s wonderful to know that Kay helped, and it had such a big impact on elders in my life. But I can say I know Laura, Kay’s stepdaughter really well, and just listening to everybody it’s clear to me that Kay was a positive force in people’s lives and a positive force in Laura’s life, and it just warms my heart so much.

1:44:24

Julie H: My relationship with Kay was multi-layered, I worked with Kay, and I’m a sister to Bill – I’m the third leg of his marriage wheel. Bill married my oldest sister. And how Bill introduces me is, “I’ve known Julie since she was eleven,” so I refer to Bill as my brother. And I have so many stories, that I am struggling to pick one out. But I’ve been thinking about the future and birthdays that’ll come. And my daughter was in the Japanese immersion program and we sing a Japanese birthday version and an English birthday and Kay always came in with a Yupik birthday. I’m going to have to learn it.

And I want to say I didn’t get the sewing, knitting, cooking gene that Kay had. I always wanted to learn from Kay how to put these magnificent things together like sweaters, hats, socks, gloves; they looked so immaculate. I didn’t know until just a few weeks ago that Kay had just recently learned to knit in the last 8 years. She was a magnificent knitter! Every one’s talked about her stature and her smile, and to come into her home and know you’re always welcome was wonderful. Even as she was in a hospital bed in the living room with hospice care, she would welcome people into her house, her space, as if it wasn’t her space, more like “this is our space, come and join us.” And it was an honor to serve Kay in her final days, to see her struggle and for her to find her peace in those last few days. I’ll miss her.

1:44:40

Patricia A: I’m so happy to have worked with Kay. The thing about Kay is, during work and after work were all kind of the same, because she was just one of the most genuine people I’ve ever known. Her passion, her smile, was such a joy to be around, always. We were in a book club together and when I moved to Sitka, every time I was in town she’d call that book club together. We’d all be together because she was such a fabulous, caring person. I learned so much from her about so many things, with her it was all about relationships, that was the key to everything. Kay was not only a leader here in AK, she was a leader nationally. She worked with elders all over, maybe even the world. I’d say do you know about elders in Norway? Maybe there too. I just remember one time, she was such a calming influence, we were sharing a hotel room. I had this Blackberry cell phone and I was all frustrated I couldn’t get it to do what I wanted. I’m on my bed, Kay on her bed calmly reading a book. She looked over at me and said, “You’re kind of expecting an awful lot out of that little thing.” She was always teaching me something.

1:50:30

Rita B: I know Kay likes the song I’m going to sing, a blessing song in Yupik. This is what Kay wants us to be.   (Yupik song is sung in Yupik.)

1:54:34

Taylor B: Friends, please let us close our worship with grateful hearts. Please rise and take the hand of your neighbors. Thank you so, so much for sharing this very moving time together. We do want to say thanks to our friends at ANTHC for the hospitality and the wonderful spirit of making this all work for us. There are many young people here who have helped us with the tech, so we could all hear what was said. Thanks to all of you that have shared your memories. After the videos we have some wonderful food to share together as well.

 

(All stood together in silence)

Laura Herman: (After silence.) Thank you friends. When we found out in January that Kay was not going to be “winning” this round of cancer, Dad really felt the need to record some videos with Kay, to keep some of that laughter and joy. So we’ll watch one such video now.

(The “I Lava You” video is played, which you can see here.)

And we have a ‘Pumpkin Carol’ to sing too. Kay, before she had a family of her own making, she made her co-workers her family. Her birthday was Oct 28 near Halloween. So people can reject or embrace the holiday near their birthday, and Kay definitely embraced it. So Kay made her coworkers sing pumpkin carols for her birthday, and we’ll do that too now, in her honor.

2:02:47

Jan B leads the group in song “Pumpkin Wonderland”

Click here to download a sheet of pumpkin carols and their lyrics.

(End of recording.)

Many thanks to all those who were able to attend and ANTHC for hosting – the Celebration of Life was magical, cathartic, and a wonderful way to honor the gifts Kay gave us during her life.